Growing Up the Project

Ever since I can remember, I have always been the project of the ward. For Mormons, it seems like we always have to be saving someone, it's what we do. We take brownies to the in-actives and are all-around do-gooders in society, our neighborhoods and of course our wards. We seek out the weak and become co-dependant baby-sitters of other people's pathetic lives. My parents were divorced when I was 5 and growing up in a "single-parent" home always dubbed me and my family the "project" in need of extra special attention. It gave the more ideal families something to do and something to be proud about, NOT being broken and all. Our situation was less than ideal and for me this is the life that has offered me many issues of course, but a lot of empathy and realness as well.
I remember one time in relief society a woman telling an experience about her more than ideal up-bringing. Her parents nightly sang to her "Teach me to Walk in the Light" before tucking her safely into bed while birds turned down her covers and singing mice did her chores while she slept. I gagged a little with some jealousy, but it was the comment that proceeded her story that caught my attention. A woman raised her hand and said that while she appreciated the wonderful upbringing of this other woman, she didn't have that experience growing up. She went on to explain that she came from a broken home with a lot of dysfunction and abuse and yet, she was here in church doing what she was supposed to do and is still a good Mormon. Her comment resonated with me. Why is it we less than desirables always end up becoming labeled and ward projects? Never mind that we have overcome far more than the average LDS member to prove our immovable faith. Ignore the fact that we are stalwart members who are breaking the chain of dysfunction and ignorance in our families making us pioneers. No credit is given to our complete devotion to our religion despite what was taught to us by our less than ideal families. Each generation doing better than the one before, it's what we are supposed to do...progress despite the mess.
I have more often than not been the assumptive member who is on the verge of releasing the Iron Rod and taking up residence in the tall and spacious building and have been labeled "the wild one" appropriately so, but make no mistake, it's not a flattering nor an accurate title. Now that I am older I am slipping further and further into the camp of "I don't care" which for all attempts and purposes, is not such a good thing. My filter is becoming more like a chain link fence with many things getting through uncensored. It sends me further down speculation highway with heads shaking and minds wandering, but for me I have no desire to appease the temptation to conform. So for now, make me some brownies and pray for me. I may just dip into the river of darkness, like you think I will. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy of insinuated future behavior.
I salute you Mormon women who are strong and faithful despite the messiness of life. I honor your fortitude and am in awe of your continued strength, despite what many may or may not label you. You amaze me. I admire those who look at their situations and life and move to quickly repair and make better vs. those who have known only harmony and ease. Your lives while admirable are not a testimony of courage, but one of provided opportunity. Nothing wrong with that, but don't assume the rest of us will falter in our ditches. We all know what it means when you ass u me...


Chelsea Clinton