Life in the Mormon lane can be kind of hectic. Between callings and pretending to be perfect all the time, well it gets exhausting. We all have pressures of perfection in each of our differing walks of life and we all strive to maintain high appearances. I am not one of those. I don't care. I should probably feel more guilt for my continued inappropriate bitching and outbursts, but for me there are just things I don't think God cares about. If God does care that I didn't make 4500 scrap books, 600 lame bead necklaces, 4 million gourmet meals and vinyl boards that say spiritual sh** to make me look totally Mo-Mo, then I'm out. I should preface this post by saying that I have a firm testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and when I call into question the ridiculousness of our culture, I in no way mean that the church and its doctrine are ridiculous. My faith is not waning, but my desire to conform is at an all-time low in the sense of screw you and the box you try to put me in.
Mormons do have a little box they try to ram you into and if you aren't in that pretty little packaged up bow, you may as well forget any of the leadership callings in your ward, you are a rebel and a liability and probably going to go in-active. You will get calls if you skip one week of church because in the back of every one's mind it is just a matter of time before that wild one goes completely the way of the world...maybe it's true. It's fine, we don't want some crazed person leading and guiding our precious sisters. What does this pretty packaged box look like? By all attempts and purposes the look is extremely important. All church-going people at some point want to say "can we just get on with it, I am missing the Super Bowl. Say the closing prayer damnit!" and if you don't, you are more Celestial than I and please come visit the Telestial kingdom sometime. The look I am talking about is however one of beauty, this is where the idea of perfection has gone. Thin put together women with scads of kids. These kids don't speak during sacrament meeting and will know their articles of faith before they "graduate" primary. These perfect families have kids who will bear their testimonies regularly and fold their arms when the go to the restroom during sacrament meeting. They have been raised by skinny flash card moms who micro-manage the PTA and the poor teacher teaching their kid in school. This woman also cooks every night, may home school her children and is a freak in bed for her husband so he doesn't look at porn. She exercises so she can say yea this great body has squeezed out 6 kids and I am a hot Mom. She scrapbooks, makes jewelry, hits the boutique to spend her husbands huge paychecks, drives an Escalade, makes Martha type meals for families who need it because she certainly does not and she does it all with a broom up her butt while she sweeps her beautiful brand new wood floor because her house is immaculate and decorated to the HILT! It's what we Mormon women strive for. Am I jealous? HELL YES! Perfection in the form of real housewives of Mormon county. It's our vision of the "blessings" they promise us in church. If you keep the commandments you will be beautiful, your children will be too, your husband will make loads of money and you will be worshipped and envied by all who want what you have in the ward and neighborhood. It's a freaking postcard life and by damn, I want it! Perfection in the form of worldly appearances. Somehow I don't think this is what is meant by perfection in the scriptures. Perfection. Women and a lot of men, have twisted and perverted its meaning. We have created little Stepford lives and have ignored God's intent. Is perfection really about our appearance? It's a sin-drome, not a commandment if you ask me. This is temporal perfection, not spiritual. A person who is spiritually perfected does not strive to raise themselves above others, they are not so concerned with the things of this world. Now that is not to say having these things is bad, but we must be careful to not place a lot of spiritual validity or equate blessings on material possessions.
I don't have this fairytale life and while my life is at times good, it's no postcard. There are times when it sucks and most Mormons look at people with adversity like they would look at a Tiger walking down the street. Hmmm....what commandment do you think they broke to bring on such wrath from God?? Maybe they don't pay their tithing or at least not enough tithing. They probably don't attend the Temple enough. Maybe they broke the sabbath regularly or have a coke once in a while. What ever it is, we will pray that they get back on track so their adverse life will once again be blessed, like ours. June Cleaver never had it so good.
I sometimes hate Mormons, and I am one. Imagine that? Take your perfect lives and shove it. I live in the real world and I don't have the time to fake it. Take it from me, life is great AND it sucks and that is how it is for all of Gods children. I can't stand fake, Boobs or otherwise, but that is a different post. What is up with Mormon women and fake boobs??? Anyway you are all invited to my jacked-up messy Mormon life....
Chaka Khan
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
THE CULTURE OF PERFECT APPEARANCES
Posted by Confessions from a Mormon Maxi-Pad at 2:37 PM
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what is the title and artist of the song on the video?
It's spectacular
Did you ever think that those women feel the need to act that way or portray themselves that way because otherwise people like you who are watching their every move would judge and judge so harshly??
Be comfortable in your own skin and don't worry about others around you. Just saying...
Wow really??? Judge and harshly talk about not being comfortable in your own skin. Really people learn to recognize that sometimes stereo-types are not judgements just statements of facts that cannot be denied. I truely believe that the things that we are most defensive about are the things that we see the most when we examine our own weaknesses and flaws. And one more thing LEARN TO LAUGH A LITTLE YOU WILL LIVE LONGER!!!
Hate much? You see these women at church and assume all is well, you assume they are not in debt or that they get to spend a lot of time with their husbands.
Mormon women have fake boobs? I thought that plastic surgery of any kind was discouraged in the church?
Anonymous 8:47....You missed the point of the post. I don't assume anything other than all may not be well but there is too much pressure to personify that all is well when maybe it isn't. I don't mean to say that we should all go to church and wear our problems on our sleeves, but more often than not talking about our problems is far too taboo. IMO, fewer women in the church would not need anti-depressants if there was room for imperfection vs. the tiresome job of pretending all is perfect.
As for the boobs...I know of no official church stand regarding fake boobs.
PS. Hate a lot. Yes. I don't deny any hypocrisy.
It's easier to listen to someone talk about their perfect life than it is to talk about their problems.
Often times if someone in the church is to tell someone they may not approach privately about their problems, they are met with "Oh I'm sorry," and then they turn and start talking to another Sister whose life seems to be perfect.
Why do you think the women respond to the phrase, "How are you?" with "Good" or something of the like even though it may be far from the truth? Some respond with "Good" only to then spill why it's not good.
It's the church, family family family, and sometimes the social aspects of church force social interactions that normally would not be so. We're commanded to treat everyone as a son or daughter of God, yet not everyone can have a conversation about problems with everyone.
When you talk about your problems at church, a lot of people see this as a public forum, that's why it's seen as taboo. Our wards are often the basis of our social foundations with those outside our immediate families. This is why we have Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching programs, at least, that's what they're designed for. If you can't talk about these things with them, you need to ask for new Home Teachers/Visiting Teachers.
so dead on. wish i had written that post for my blog!
I don't think that people are trying to fit a mold. Why can't people be allowed to enjoy some sort of craft or another? Most women enjoy being creative. They don't think they are more righteous because they do it. I see families in my ward all the time, and maybe my ward i just the best ever, but nobody is self-righteous like that. There is one super-amazing mom that does it all, but she is so humble about it, and you would never know that she was so amazing--but I know one of her daughters. So.. anyways. About callings. They come from Heavenly Father through the Bishop. He calls people who need to serve and that moment. Nothing you mentioned has anything to do with getting a certain calling. I don't know what church you have been attending. I just feel sad that you are using the name of our Church when you take things out of proportion just to write about it and make people laugh. I don't know anymore. There are too many people creating blogs that are quick to judge others, and very slow to understand and love.
Oh, and I agree that some people should slow down with the pursuit of perfection according to the world (meaning, materially).
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